Français
by Kay Ross
Summary: Croix tries to talk dirty to Chariot in French; Akko is confused, but Diana unfortunately understands. /x/ Charoix & Diakko (mildy). [Note: This story was translated from Google Translate trash to PROPER French by SossoFL. Thank you, thank you!]


**A/N: I don't own Little Witch Academia! ;)**

 **A/N 2:** **I formerly put this together with just Google Translate, but an angel named SossoLF had translated this to proper French in a review. Thank you, SossoLF, you are amazing and a beautiful soul!**

* * *

"Tu veux bien arrêter ça?" " _Will you stop that?_

Akko and Diana looked up from their books, heads turning between their detention guardian and Croix. Although the scientist's change of heart was genuine by all accounts, Diana still couldn't help but occasionally question her intentions.

For example: why would she bother sitting through three hours of detention with Chariot? She sat at the end of Chariot's teacher's table, hunched over a bowl of instant ramen and looking bored as she had ever been.

"Quoi?" _What?_ Chariot looked towards Croix, curious at her deliberate switch to French.

An incident involving Amanda giving Akko 'pick-up line advice' had led to Diana 'accidentally' setting the sporty witch's hem ablaze. Diana was adamant that she'd prefer detention to having to repeat what Akko had been tricked to say. The blonde witch pinched her nose—she was blushing just from _remembering._

"Tu as l'air bonne." _Looking good enough to eat._ Croix pointed her chopsticks towards the redhead.

"Il y a des enfants, Croix." _There are children, Croix._ Chariot looked unimpressed.

The lilac-haired witch simply shrugged, steam temporary fogging her glasses. Diana thought her eyes seemed… mischievous? "C'est pas comme si elles peuvent comprendre." _It's not like they can understand._

"We are literally _right here._ " Akko grunted, distracted beyond help.

"Detention, Kagari." Croix nagged.

"You don't even teach here anymore!"

Sighing, Chariot shook her head. "She's right, though, now back to your books."

Akko crossed her arms, childishly narrowing her eyes on them while she huffed. "Fine."

Diana playfully bumped Akko's shoulder, turning towards the brunette to fix her hair. The closeness was enough to get Akko smiling again.

"Tu vois?" _See?_ Croix pointed the two girls out to Chariot. "Elles sont bien trop éprises l'une de l'autre pour nous remarquer." _They're too smitten with one another to notice._

Diana nearly dropped her book.

"Diana?" Akko tilted her head. "Why are your ears red?"

"Ah—It's—It's nothing. Probably just quite warm."

Croix nodded in agreement, setting her chopsticks across her ramen before looking at Chariot. "Elle a raison. Il commence à faire chaud ici." _She's right. It_ is _getting hot in here._

" _Croix._ "

"Tu devrais enlever quelques couches de vêtements." _You should lose some of those layers._

Chariot had gone spectacularly red. "Tu ne vas pas t'arrêter, n'est-ce pas?" _You aren't going to stop, are you?_

"Retournons au lit." _Let's go back to bed._

Diana coughed.

"Non," Chariot crossed her arms. She was blushing, but there was a foreign determination in her eyes.

"Je vais chercher les menottes." _I'll get the handcuffs._ Croix grinned.

"Diana? Are you okay?" Akko whispered under her breath. Her concern was palpable. "You're looking a bit feverish."

"I am alright." Diana wanted to face-palm.

Chariot smirked. Fine; she crossed her legs. Two could play this game. She was actually biting her lip, her mildly annoyed expression giving way to Shiny Chariot's mischief. "Tu me laisseras les utiliser sur toi cette fois?" _Will you let_ me _use it on you this time?_

Had she been eating her typical noodles, Croix would have spat it all out.

"What is going on!?" Akko gawked. "Is Professor Croix actually blushing?"

To the brunette's surprise, Diana had pulled on her arm. "Do _not_ look at them, just read."

Diana looked flustered as _hell._ "A—Are you sure you're okay?"

"J'espère que tu es libre pour les deux prochaines heures." _I hope you're free in the next two hours._

"Le's-tu?" Chariot batted her eyes innocently. " "J'ai toujours eu besoin d'aide pour enlever ces robes s—" _Are you? I've always needed help getting out of these robes_ —

Diana—red from her neck to her ears—could _NOT_ take it anymore. "Excusez-nous!" She slammed her palms on the table. " Akko et moi partons à présent," _Akko and I will be leaving now,_ she blabbered in flustered, impressive French.

She took a confused Akko by the wrist and ran out of the classroom. Good lord, she didn't need to hear what happened next.

The two professors had gone _visibly_ pale.

Croix may as well have died.

Chariot could settle for disappearing from the face of the planet, _again._

* * *

"You could understand them!" Akko looked mildly betrayed.

"Unfortunately," Diana lamented.

"What did they—"

"I'm not telling you."

"But why won't you—"

Diana might faint if she had to repeat those to Akko. "Will you drop it if I tell you something else?"

"Huh?"

Taking a page from Croix's book, Diana thought she'd push her chances. "Tu tiens mon Coeur entre tes mains."

Akko looked exasperated. "What the hell! I still don't understand what that means!"

Too flustered to care, Diana Cavendish turned on her heel and walked away.

She was never going to tell.

* * *

 **WE ALL KNOW IT WOULD HAPPEN AMIRITE  
**


End file.
